I Wish I Was Barbie
by Zim'sBaka
Summary: Your probaly thinking I'm crazy....GIR finds a very intresting bumper sticker, and Zim finds out about it. The little wheels in his green head are spinning. *Final Chapter Up*
1. I have a Dream!

I Wish I Was Barbie  
  
  
  
disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Barbie, or the bumper sticker logo thingy! So don't sue me!   
A/N: I just had one wacky idea, from thinking about the bumper sticker that says "I wish I was Barbie, that bitch has everything." I love that bumper sticker. Anyways, please read and review! I hope you don't think I'm insane!  
  
  
"GIR! Will you please get down here!" Zim shouted at the small green dog. GIR stared down at his master from his perch, "but there are dogs! They might bark at me!"   
"GIR, you are a dog! REMEMBER! BARK BACK!"   
"I thought I was a cat? And cats don't bark! We have more class."  
"YOUR A DOG! NOT A CAT! AND I AS YOUR MASTER DEMAND YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!" Zim shouted, causing the people in the park to stare at him. GIR dropped down from the tree, landing on his head. Zim, annoyed, grabbed his leash and started dragging him towards the base.   
  
"Now, you understand that you could have jeopardized the whole mission today, correct!"   
GIR watched a boy walk down the street bobbing his head, so he copied.  
"Good, I guess I'll let you go do your..advanced stuff now. I am going down to the lab." Zim turned and walked towards the toilet. As soon as he disappeared, GIR turned towards where Zim was standing, "what'd ya' say?"   
Not seeing, or getting a response from his master, GIR decided to go out and get some tacos. "Doom, doomy doom, doomys doom, doom doom doom."   
The little dog sang, as he walked down towards the Krazy Taco place. A few of the smarter humans looked at him, but decided it must be the heat. GIR's walk would've been un-eventful, besides him running right into a car. GIR shook his head, and saw a shiny bumper sticky. 'I wish I was Barbie, that bitch has everything.' "The monkeys have sent me a message!!! I must obey!!" he yelled, "TACOS!"   
  
Zim came upstairs to find his SIR eating some tacos. "How do you eat that disgusting human food! They don't even have labeled meat!" (Taco Bell doesn't have labeled meat either!! its dingo!) GIR stared at him, "I wish I was Barbie, that bitch has everything."   
"What...did you just say?"   
"What?"  
"What did you just say, GIR?!"   
"I love tacos?"  
"No, just a few human seconds ago!"  
"Uh?"  
"That thing, 'I wish I was barbie'!"  
"The Monkey message?"  
"YES! Wait, no, the one about Barbie!"  
"I wish I was barbie, that bitch has everything?"   
"YEEES!!!! Where did you get that?! Did that Dib-worm experiment on your circuitry?!"  
"No, I ran into something hard, and then, the monkeys sent me it!"  
"....What did you run into?"  
"Something hard."  
"More details, GIR!"  
"It was blue, beat up, and had a funny metal plate, like this!" GIR pulled out a license plate.   
"That message was on a human transportation device!" the wheels started to turn in Zim's head, making yet another insanely weird plan. "GIR, I have a plan to take over these worms!"   
"YEAAA!"  
"We'll give them their wish...to be 'Barbie'. But, we shall make them also become slaves to the irken Empire! How easy enslaving this filthy planet shall be!" the alien started to cackle, soon joined by his insane robot.   
  
Well, thats the first chapter! Don't you just love these stories that are so...weird? Anyways, review and leave your death threats and stuff.......I'll try to have a new chapter out soon!  
Peace, Love, Pink Poodles! "Reality is going to fall on us soon, good thing I brought an umbrella"  
*ZB* 


	2. Saving the World, or playing Video Games...

I wish I was Barbie  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim  
  
A/N: Thank you nice reviewer pplz!!! There is about 1 ft of snow out here, and thats more then I've seen in my life. Anyways, I finally got the next chapter out!! Sorry for the delay....Please Read and Review!!  
  
  
  
After three days of working non-stop, Zim had finally found enough information to create his machine. "Ooooo, whats that?"   
"This, GIR, is the machine that will help me enslave the humans, and bring honor to the Irken Empire!" Zim bellowed.  
"Oh....what does it do?"  
"It will turn humans into this barbie thing, only real. As the worm females get changed, a small chip saying that they should obey the Irkens, and bow to MEEEE, will be planted into their....brain." Zim finished his explanation, but GIR was busy eating out of a bucket.   
"Now, all we need is a human to try this on." the Irken said.  
"How about, your friend!"  
"Dib.....It would be interesting, but I need a female first. AND HE IS OUR ENEMY GIR, NOT 'FRIEND!"   
GIR blinked, "how bout his sister."  
A smile started to spread on Zim's face, "yes, good idea GIR. Your advancness is showing."   
"Eeek! Where?!" the robot started to look at his body.   
Zim, ignoring GIR, left the lab. "Now, I just have to find out a way to get this human to my lab. Hmm, last time she was here was to rescue her brother. Or was it to get pizza....I guess I can hold Dib hostage, and then have one of those greasy pizzas. That should get her attention."   
Dib, walking down to try and expose Zim, was oblivious to what was happening.  
  
Bring, Bring  
"DIB, GET THE PHONE!" Gaz yelled, not taking her eyes off of the GS2. Bring, Bring "Dib, I'm on the last level of Chainsaw Chickens, GET THE PHONE NOW!!"  
The phone stopped ringing, but Gaz could hear the answering machine. There was the friendly little greeting she had put in a few weeks ago, "Hello, you've reached the Membrane Household. If you want an autograph, you can kiss my ass. If your for Dib, you need a fucking life, and if wanted to reach me. Go to hell. Anyone with codes for GameSlave 2 please call back SOON!"   
"That human place known as hell sounds nice." Gaz looked irritably at the answering machine, with Zim's voice coming from it.   
"I have your brother, stupid filth. I will do horrible, horrible experiments on him, so you should come rescue him." the violet haired girl rolled her eyes, she wouldn't mind having experiments done on him.   
"I also have pizza here. So, come rescue your bother, get pizza...Do whatever you humans normally do."   
Gaz sighed, as the message finally stopped. "Rescue Dib, get pizza. Or gameslave." the violet haired girl picked up her gameslave.   
  
"Stupid human, where is she! Her brother is in mortal danger, his pathetic life in need of rescuing!!! Theres even Pizza!!!!" Zim hissed, looking at the pile of grease sitting on a panel.   
"MAAAAAAAAAAAASTER!!!!!!" GIR squealed, sliding down one of the many wires.  
"Not now, GIR. I'm thinking!"   
"........How bout now?"  
"No, GIR."   
"Now?"  
"GIR, SILENT!!!"  
The little robot blinked up at Zim. "Now what did you want, GIR?"  
"I forgot." Zim sighed, and shook his head. "Is that...monkey show on?"  
"MOOOONKEY!" GIR screamed, and ran towards the elevator.  
  
The little robot sighed contentedly. "I love this show."   
DING DONG ((A/n: cheezy, sound?))  
"UNICORNS!!!" the little robot pulled on his dog costume, then opened the door.   
"Where's Zim?"  
  
  
A/N: Is it almost time for Gaz to be transformed? Will Dib have horrible experiments done to him? Will GIR find his Unicorns?! I hope I didn't confuse you too much. Please Review!!! ^^ 


	3. I can't think of a title!

I Wish I was Barbie  
  
disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, nor Barbie!   
  
A/N: Wow, I finally got this out! I had some major skool projects and tests due. *there is also another giant project due, that ZB is kinda ignoring.* But right now, I am on Spring Break *WOOHOO* So here is this chapter!   
  
  
"I didn't know Master's friend's sister was a unicorn!" GIR chirped.  
Gaz, ignoring what GIR had just said, asked again, "Where is Zim."  
"Master is in his lab. He's playing with barbie. Wait, he wants to, but he-"   
Gaz grabbed the little robot, "take me to Zim."  
"Awwww, I love you too!" The small SIR was thrown to the ground.  
  
Gaz looked around, annoyed. Nothing had changed since her last rescue mission, except the giant cylinder tube thing, with a pizza sitting on a stool in the middle of it. "Ok, how stupid do you think I am."   
"All humans are stupid."   
Gaz turned around to see Zim, then turned to face the pizza again.   
"SO, you finally came? Was it the pizza, saving your brother, or did you realize that I, ZIM would somehow get you come to my lab to b....." Zim trailed off, realizing he had almost given away his master plan.   
"Now, I am going to get my pizza, and leave. You can experiment on my brother, as long as he isn't an unrecognizable blob when he finally returns." Gaz stated.  
Zim nodded, smirking at the fact there wouldn't be any of Dib to return. "I need my pizza."   
Gaz's voice snapped Zim out of his daydream of shooting Dib into the sun. "Then go get it, stinkweed."  
"You get it for me."  
"ZIM gets pizza for no one!"   
"ZIM better get that damn pizza, because GAZ is getting ready to doom some bloated green heads."  
Zim blinked, then frustrated, hissed, "I thought you earth females liked being independent?"  
"Yes. And I am very INDEPENDENTLY thinking of how I will kick your ass if you don't get my damn pizza!"   
"ZIM DOES NOT DO LABOR FOR ANYONE!"  
"ZIM needs to learn that I am not going to get turned into whatever to get a damn pizza sitting in a test tube!"   
At that time, GIR fell from the ceiling. "There's a hole in the floor."   
Zim stared at GIR, while Gaz muttered "that stupid robot should be turned into scrap metal."   
"Aaaaw, somebody needs a hug!"  
"NO GIR DON'T!" Zim clenched his eyes shut, waiting for his squeedly spooch to be squeezed through his mouth. Instead, there was a loud scream, then two thuds.   
Zim opened his eye, "YES! GENIUS! I see why the Tallest rewarded me with such an advanced model of SIRs!"   
GIR was sitting on the floor, confused. While Gaz was laying on the floor, inside of the large cylinder.   
"NOW! We shall test, the.....uh..." Zim hadn't made up a name for his machine. "I'll give it a name later." He pressed a large pink button.   
"Is she gonna be barbie?" GIR chirped  
"If it works, GIR. Now stay here, and tell me when its all done. DON'T touch anything, play with your piggies or moosies....Or whatever you play with," Zim commanded, then turned and walked off.  
  
Where is Dib?! Is GIR going to listen? *fat chance* And what about poor Gazzy? Is she going to be a pink worshipping doll? Well, you'll just have to wait and find out! *I promise to have thie next chapter out pretty soon* 


	4. Tofu Cake!

I Wish I Was Barbie  
  
disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim....Barbie.....Or that bumper sticker! ^^  
  
A/N: Eeeerm, sorry bout the wait! I hope this is a good chapter! I like it! ^^ Anyways, here it is! Chapter 4!!!!   
p.s: Gaz keeps her name, and hair and eye color in this experiment. Everything else is like Barbie. ^^  
  
GIR sat on the floor, and pulled out two rubber piggies. He giggled and started to play with them.   
  
~1 Hour later~  
  
A few wires hung around, spitting sparks. Some broken glass was on the floor, and GIR sat in the midst, "bungee jumping is fun! Too bad master wasn't here to play with us."   
The little robot cuddled the small pig, before jumping up. "I bet master would be really happy if he came back, and Barbie was here!"   
GIR ran over, and looked at the experiment tube. There was smoke all around, so no one could see in or out. "Um.............Piggy, do you think its ready?"   
GIR held the pig up to the place an ear would be. "Me too!"  
Bounding over to the control panel, GIR saw the pink button. "This is the one master pushed........." The robot pressed the button.   
"Experiment is sixty percent done, are you sure you would like to abort?" a mechanical voice asked.   
GIR pressed the button again, semi-annoyed. There was a whooshing sound, and then the two doors opened. The smoke blocked all viewing, but GIR could see a tall figure. The shadowy figure moved closed, and then GIR found himself being lifted into the air, "what did you do to me?!"   
"I didn't do anything, are you Barbie?"   
"What do you mean, Barbie?!" GIR's captor hissed.   
The smoke started to clear, and GIR finally saw the figure fully. "Your pretty!"   
GIR was right. The figure had long, shining, violet hair. Her eyes were amber in color, and she had full red lips. She was quite tall, thought most of her body was either her female anatomy or her long legs. She was wearing a tight pink mini skirt, with high heeled matching pink shoes. (AN: whoo, describing someone is confusin!)   
"You know, your right! I am pretty, aren't I!" She said in a giggly voice.   
Suddenly, her eyes flashed, "WHAT WAS THAT?!"   
GIR looked at her confused, "what was whaaat?"   
"That voice, that personality! That.........statement."   
"Uuuum?"  
"Look, you better give me some answers before I turn you int.......You know, I'm famished! I have a great reciepe for Tofu Cake! Lets go bake some!" She dropped GIR, "where's the kitchen?"   
GIR stuck his tongue out, and started towards the elevator. The girl gliding behind him. (AN: yeah, we all know who the figure is already, but for writing purposes...)  
  
Zim strutted over to where he had last seen his robot. "GIR, the exper...GIR?"   
The red-eyed alien looked around, "Where did..." Zim noticed that his machine was off, and there was no one there, "AGH! Where did she go! Where did GIR go! Dib must have something to do with this!"   
"HA, I wish I was the one to cause you this much stress!" Zim turned and saw his rival drop from a top of a machine.   
"How'd you escape!"  
"Not telling."  
"Tell me!"   
"No."  
Zim glared at the human, but before he had a chance to speak, the clicks of shoes reached both their ears.   
"Zim what did you do to me!"   
The green alien dodged something that looked like a white cake. He turned around and saw a girl glaring at him. Suddenly, her eyes changed, and a smile crossed her face, "have we met before? My name's Gaz! hehe. Its such a weird name! What about you?"   
Zim and Dib's jaws both dropped. "Maaaster, your experiment is done!" GIR squealed, running into the room and jumping on Gaz.   
"Your dog is awfully sweet, I dare say I've never seen the breed before though!" Gaz chirped, hugging GIR.  
  
Dun dun dun........Is Zim dead? Probably.........Will Dib be able to save his sister? Not likely.  
And is Gaz ever going to change to completely Barbie? We hope not. Are you confused, me too! Bye-ee! 


	5. Bum...bum...bum

I Wish I Was Barbie  
  
disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Barbie, or anything else that I might get sued for!  
  
A/N: I'm soooo sorry this took so long to repost....HEY, I have good reasons though this time! My computer went kablooey, so we had to fix that. Then my dad died *sigh* I AM SO GOING TO FIND THE CURE FOR CANCER!!! and then, after that, my internet service was cancelled....I'm sorry people......Ok, here is the long awaited chapter!!! BUM BUM BUM!!  
  
  
"ZIM!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?!" Dib yelled.  
"GIIIR! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EXPERIMENT!!" Zim yelled at exactly the same time.   
"I didn't do nuttin master, see, its right here!" GIR said, looking up at Gaz.   
"You were experimenting on my sister?!" Dib yelled again.  
Zim almost wanted to use the human phrase of 'well duh', but resisted the urge, "I was improving your sister Dib worm. Just like I will improve every human female on this planet!"   
"Re-...wait, whats the catch. You wouldn't help humans."  
"Tell me how you escaped, and I'll tell you the 'catch'."   
Dib opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. "thought you had me fooled, didn't you ALIEN!"   
There was a clang of metal, then Zim and Dib felt themselves lifted up into the air and then slammed into one of the many machines. "Zim, tell me what the hell you did to me, or else. Dib shut up, just shut up."   
Zim glared into amber eyes, "you female are supposed to listen to me, I am your master. Your Emperor!"   
Gaz glared right back, before she twitched and dropped both of her captives. "Oh, you two are so short!" she giggled, "your like little dolls!"   
Dib's mouth hung open once more, and Zim sighed and stood up. "Gaz, I wish of you to dispose of your brother."   
"I don't think he'll fit in a trash can."  
"No, Gaz, dispose, destroy."   
"I can't destroy him, he's tooo cute! Can't we keep him?"  
"Gaz, destroy Dib NOW!"   
"Look at that, you've already given him a name! See, you are attached to him!"   
Zim's antenea cocked with annoyance. And Dib started to laugh, "this is how you improve females?! Make them dumb blondes?"  
Before Zim could respond, Dib found himself buckled over, groaning in pain. Zim blinked and looked at Gaz.  
"How dare you discriminate against blondes! You, you, you hairist!" Gaz hissed, glaring at Dib.   
"Your....Not....Even....Blonde!" Dib managed to squeak.   
"Oh yeaaah."   
"So now all I have to do is make every male in the world make jokes about blondes, get the females to-" Zim's planning was interrupted by a low growl.   
"Zim how many times do I have to tell you, to tell me, what you did to me!"   
"Maaaster turned you into Barbie!" GIR said, looking at the group from his perch on the control panel.   
"He did...what?!"   
"He turned you into Barbie! PIGGIE!"   
Gaz blinked, momentarily confused, before turning back around and giving Zim the death glare. "You turned me into Barbie? You better hope, for your sake, you can change me back."  
"Why would I do that, Gaaaz. If I was going to do anything, I would turn you more into Barbie." Zim questioned, smirking.   
"Because, if you don't, I am going to kick your green ass back to the planet you came from." 


	6. Gaz from the exorcist! Did I spell that...

I Wish I Was Barbie  
  
  
disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim, or Barbie....  
  
A/N: YEAAAA NEW CHAPTER!!! I like this chapter, its a little weird, but I like it. Anyways, someperson, my namey thing, the Baka part does mean fool,   
so I am Zim's Fool. lol, allrightey then! I'm gonna go and pray my boyfriend comes over.....allright!  
  
  
  
Zim didn't say anything, just turned around and faced Dib. The raven haired boy was just standing up, and saw Zim staring at him. "What?"   
"Oh, nothing, filthy human. Just thinking."  
Dib raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean just thinking. You never just think! You just...You just...Uh...You just do pathetic plans of evil and doom!"   
"Aaaaw, you two are so sweet when you argue," Gaz's voice interrupted.   
"I am ZIM, I am not CUTE, I am MIGHTY!" "Thats ZIM, he is not CUTE, he is ALIEN!" The two rivals spat at the same time.   
Gaz cocked her head, "I think he's cute."   
"No, Gaz, I am mighty, you obeey me! Not say I'm cute."   
"Cuteeeee!"  
"No, mighty!"  
"Cute!"  
"Mighty!!"  
"Cute!!!"   
"MIGHTY!!!"   
"TURN ME BACK!" Zim and Dib were both surprised at the sudden personality change of Gaz.  
"Why should I change you back?! You are better now!"  
"How am I better?! I'm a dumb blonde!"   
"Your beautiful! Don't you humans care about that!"   
"Really, you think I'm beautiful?" Gaz's personality had changed back.   
"Yes, yes, your beautiful....No-" Zim was interrupted as he was lifted up and Gaz kissed him hard.   
"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Zim started to scream, then rubbed his mouth with his hand. "AAAAAAAAGH!!! HUMAN SPIT!!! THERE TRYING TO INFECT ME WITH GERMS!!" Zim ran out of the room.   
A confused Gaz followed, then Dib who was trying not to laugh, and GIR who had fallen through a hole in the ceiling again. There were gagging noises, as Zim sprayed Lysol into his mouth. Then he would take some other cleaning substance and swish it around in his mouth and then spit it out. He repeated the process for about 30 minutes. Blinking Dib turned around and headed away. "Come on Gaz, we're going home."   
"OK!" Gaz chirped, and walked after him.  
  
Zim came out of his lab, still spraying Lysol into his mouth every minute or so. Never did it strike Zim's mind that Dib would have walked off with his experiment. "Gaz?" Zim looked around the room, "where is sh-DIB! NOOO!!! DIB RAN OFF WITH MY EXPERIMENT!" Zim ran towards an elevator, having his mechanical legs place on different parts of his human "disguise" as he went.   
  
Gaz was sitting on the couch. "Ok, see, just press these buttons, and then make sure none of the little guys run into anything, ok, got it?" Dib asked.   
Blinking her giant amber eyes, Gaz looked down at the funny box that was sitting in her lap. "I think. What are they called again?"  
"Game Slaves. Ok? You never stop playing, got it?"   
"Uuuuh. Why don't I ever stop playing?"   
"Be-cause thats what you always do. You draw and play Game Slave. If dad doesn't hear the normal game music, he might wonder if something happened." Dib bluntly left out the part of trying to figure out ways to make his life a living hell. "Allright, I got it."   
Dib nodded approvingly, then walked up to his room to look for a magazine to read until 'Mysterious Mysteries' came on. When he walked back down, the room was still silent. "Gaz, I thought you said you got it?" Dib asked, wondering why his 'sister' wasn't playing her GS.   
"I forgot how to turn it on...."   
Dib nearly fell over.   
  
Zim stomped down the street, glaring at any human who dared look his way. He rounded the corner, bringing him into Dib's neighborhood. Before he was able to make his way up, he heard loud screaming behind him. "MAAAASTER!!!"   
Zim turned, just in time to be knocked over from GIR jumping on him. "YEAAAH!!! MASTER IS OUTSIDE!!! That means we can go do fun stuff together!!!"  
Zim blinked. "Like go to the park. And go get tacos. And go get Brain Freezies. And um....Stuff!"   
"GIR, I have to get Gaz back. I can't go do stuff right now."   
GIR's eyes started to water. ((.....why?! WHY?!)) "Master doesn't want to spend time with me?"   
"No, GIR its just I need to get Gaz." Zim replied.   
"Gaz still be there, Master come and get tacos. Puh-leeease?"  
Zim sighed. "OK, GIR, if I get you tacos, will you promise to leave me alone for awhile?"   
"YES! LETS GO GET TACOS!!" GIR drug Zim across the street.   
  
Dib watched the TV intently. It was a segment on Big Foot, even though he had probably seen the episode a million  
times. Dib glanced sideways, at Gaz, who seemed to be back in her normal personality while she was playing the GS.   
Dib glanced back at the TV when a slam made him jump. "You motherfuckingpieceofdamnshit!!! YOU DARE DEFY A SERVANT OF ZI-....  
I just cussed alot...Oh, there's a little boy in the room."   
Dib blinked, "Gaz, what was that?!"   
"What was what?" Those big brown eyes were SO clueless.   
"The third personality. When you started cussing!"   
"OH. I suddenly had a voice that said 'pathetic humans, they must die. Must serve Zim.' then there was a loud scream....But  
I felt like throwing that disgusting human trash." Gaz trailed off, in a deep voice that made her sound possessed. Dib looked at   
her scared. "Gaz?"  
"YOU ARE A-yes?"  
  
"GIR, I need to go NOW."   
"Not yet, you need more tacos!"   
"No, GIR if you stuff one more of t-mmmfh!" Zim started to gag on the taco GIR had shoved in his mouth.   
GIR giggled, "you should take smaller bites."   
Zim just glared at GIR as he chewed and swallowed the rest of the taco. "GIR, I am leaving NOW."   
The little alien stood up, turned around, and walked away. Before he could leave, a blonde with   
numerous pimples blocked the way of the door. "SIR, your friend said you'd pay the fee!"   
Zim glared back at GIR who was waving.   
  
Dib was hiding in a closet. It seemed Gaz's possessed personality was at its peak, and currently she was  
walking around the house, saying "Here kitty kitty" holding a big knife. Dib had no idea Zim could be so  
physcotic. The young boy's muscles tensed as he saw a shadow walk by his hiding place. Gaz glanced around, then walked  
back and flung open Dib's closet door. There was nothing inside. Mumbiling, Gaz closed the door and walked down  
another direction. 


	7. Zim, the amazing Dish Cleaner!

I Wish I was Barbie  
  
  
disclaimer: who thinks I own Zim?  
  
A/N: Yes, I updated, FINALLY!!! I'm sorry bout the wait! Yup, so thats all....Read and Enjoy!!   
  
Zim mumbled as he dropped trays, carefully, into a large sink of hot, bubbly, greasy water. He was trying to not get hit by any of the splashes. He looked sideways and saw a quite large, quite hairy man staring at him. "You got scrub little man." He grunted, scratching himself in an inappropriate place.   
"Scrub?" Zim asked, raising an eye in confusion, then dropping another tray into the sink.  
"You scrub, make grease and stuff come off pan. So pass test thing."   
Zim continued to stare blankly, "you expect me to put my hands back in there, grab the trays and scrub all the pieces of trash off of them?!"   
"Yup. Or you pay bill." The man grunted again, before turning and walking away.   
Zim mumbled something in Irken, and looked around the room.   
  
Dib was breathing heavily, causing the closed in space to become hot. The blankets piled on top of him didn't help. At least he had escaped Gaz's wrath. He strained to hear any movement, but there seemed to be none. He took a deep breath and slid out of the blanket and pushed opened the closet door. He looked around, "Gaz?" The weak voice echoed through the halls. There was no reply. Dib crept farther from his shelter, "Gaz?" He tried again. Only silence answered him.   
  
Zim looked at the shocked face of the manager as he inspected the pans. They were so clean he could see his reflection in them. "Little man become permanent scrubber?"   
Zim shook his head, "ah, sadly I can't take this opportunity."   
"Ayight', how little man make pans shine?" Was the grunted reply.   
"I burned the greese off..." Zim said, getting a confused glance from the manager. Zim neglected to say he had used his lazer, hoping to melt the pans but only succeeded in making them clean.   
"A'ight, little man go now. Remember offer."   
Zim gladly left the building, "now I must find DIB!!! And my experiment!!!"   
  
Dib crept up and pushed open a door covered in signs saying keep out. He flipped on the switch that was near the door, and looked around. Dark purple walls covered in different pictures and then a small bed with black sheets, but no Gaz. "Where is she?" Dib glanced around one more time, before turning off the light and closing the door. He crept down the hallway and down into the living room. There was no life there either, just couches. Dib let out a frustrated sigh and turned to look in the kitchen. The kitchen was empty, like every other room in the house. As Dib looked on the counters, he noticed something. There was a large raw piece of meat sitting on the stove, and it had a large knife stuck into it. Red juices were dripping out of the meat, and made the scene absolutely horrific. Dib gulped, and looked towards the knife holder. There were two empty sockets in the darkened wood. With a scream like a little girl, Dib ran up to his room.   
  
Zim pushed his way past all the humans that were in his way. "Why is there so much filth in the street?!" Zim yelled out in frustration. There were masses of people, and they were all yelling and screaming. Finally, Zim pulled through the crowd and saw they were all staring at a funny ingraving in the sidewalk. There was a tall man standing there, wearing a black coat and large black boots. He was also wearing dark sunglasses, "it's an alien marking! It says 'DOOM'."   
Zim looked at the marking. It was a drawing of a cow. Then he looked back up at the man who was yelling. "Little green boy! RUN! Tell people the warnings of Bill! Tell them to prepare for some spacey DOOM!"   
"Its a cow! A filthy EARTH cow!" Zim hissed, looking at the human who called himself Bill.  
"Little boy, your mind must be warped. That is not a cow! Well, at least its not an Earth cow!" Bill contradicted.   
Zim just walked by and right over the 'sign' and headed towards the Membrane household.   
  
Dib was shivering under his blankets. He had run right into his room screaming, and dived under the blankets. The door was still wide open. Dib stuck his head out from under the blanket, and looked at the door. There were still no sounds, that Dib could hear. Taking in a breath to reassure himself, Dib slowly slid out from under the blankets and stood up. He cautiously walked towards the door.   
When he was about 5 feet away from it, it started to close slowly. Dib froze in his tracks, as the door closed completely. "Hi kitty," Dib saw a glint off of something.   
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Dib turned and wrenched open his closet door, but a hand caught him. "Where ya' going?"   
Dib squeezed his eyes shut, but some loud slam startled his captor and made her let go of him. "DIB! GIVE ME BACK MY EXPERIMENT NOW!"   
"It's dark in here..." Came a bubbly voice Dib had almost forgot.   
"G-Gaz?" He asked, walking backwards.   
"Yeees?"   
Dib was standing right infront of the door, now.   
  
Zim stormed through the house, opening all the doors and looking for his experiment. Finally, he came upon the last door in the hall. He slowly put his hand to the doorknob, turned it, then flung it open.   
  
There was a thud as Dib fell to the floor from the impact.   
"AAAH!! YOU KILLED HIM! THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR DETECTIVE GAZ!"  
Zim was standing in the door, looking at Dib was laying on the floor. "Did I really kill him?" He asked hopefully.  
  
  
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	8. The Dooming of Zim

I Wish I Was Barbie  
disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim  
  
A/N: The last chapter! Now I can work on my other two stories! I have another humor story for my fans now! Invader Moon! Ok, I'm sorry I didn't get Dib or Zim turned into Ken or Barbies, but I might write a sequel with that happening to them. I was thinking about it earlier! Anyways, please enjoy the last chapter!   
  
  
Dib moaned as he slowly sat up, "ugh, what hit me?"   
"He's alive, curses." Zim muttered, "you were in the way when I opened your door. Why did you hide my experiment in this room anyways, do you think Zim's tracking skills were so bad?"   
"Where's Gaz?" Dib asked, ignoring Zim.   
"She went to make some human thing called, 'cocoa' in your kitchen, I let her, hoping to get those nice Barbie like characteristics to stay." Zim explained.   
"You let her in the kitchen, with all the knifes?" Dib asked, his eyes widening,"your not aware of the third personality?!"   
"What third personality?"   
"The one that chases me into a closet with a knife!"   
"Ooo, I like that personality."  
Dib blinked, "she's going to kill me, and probably YOU!"   
"Why would she kill me, I am her master. She's going after you for the sake of the Irken Empire!" Zim said casually.   
"What if she thinks your human?"   
"Why would she think that?"   
"Your 'disguise'," Dib said with sarcasm.   
Zim opened his mouth to speak, when Gaz walked into the room carrying a tray. "Hi Dibby, I made you some coca, it has extra marshmallows! And they're big, just like your head!"   
"My head is not big," Dib interrupted.  
"Yes, and that quite large big head will look good on a plaque in a trophy room! Won't it?" Gaz continued, placing the tray on a dresser. Then she pulled out a large knife, that she had concealed somewhere large enough to conceal a large knife.   
Dib blinked, then yelped and dove for the closet, but something caught his leg. Zim was sitting there, with an evil glint in his eye. "Bye bye Dib, no longer can you interrupt my dooming of Earth! I can't say I won't miss the challenge, but ah, life is hard."   
Zim smirked, when he was lifted into the air. "Hello other little Earth boy! Would you like your freakish green earth head also on a plaque?" Gaz asked, showing him the knife.   
"I am not an Earth boy, I am Irken! I AM ZIM!"   
"If your an Irken, then where are you anttenea? And what's wrong with your eyes," Gaz asked.   
Zim's eyes widened. "Oh come ON! Zim's disguise is not THAT good!" Dib said, irritably.   
"Let me down, NOW GAZ, and I will show you my Irken self." Zim demanded.   
Gaz got this crooked smile on her face, and put the knife against Zim's throat. The edge pressed lightly against his green skin. Zim held in a gulp, while Dib stood up. "As much as I'd like Zim to stop talking, I need his whole body for autopsies."   
"And your going to stop me, how? If you do anything, the knife will probably cut his jugular." Gaz's input, "and even if he was Irken, then he would die, because I would be cutting his major current tube, something like your jugular only with electrical current."   
Dib blinked, what had happened last time that had stopped her killing frenzy. Dib thought back quickly, Zim coming in, yelling, then blackness, Zim, loud, door. Then it came to him, the slamming of a door stopped Gaz! Dib grabbed the handle of the closet door, and pulled it back, "bye bye demon Gaz." He flung the oak door hard, and it hit the frame with a loud bang. An echo seemed to go around the room. There was a grunt and a clatter as Zim and the knife fell to the floor. "What happened?" Gaz's airhead personality asked.   
Dib sighed, and leaned back against the bed, when he heard a squeal. "DIB! YOUR SISTER IS TRYING TO SMOTHER ME TO DEATH!!!! SHE WILL NOT LISTEN!!! MAKE HER STOP!"   
Dib looked up and saw Gaz hugging Zim, very hard, "you are SO cute! Did I ever say that?"   
Dib sighed, "you change her back, and I'll get her to stop."   
"HA! NO!!"   
"You know, she's gonna change back to that pyscho mode soon, and then you'll be in trouble because she's already got a hold of you...."   
"What happened to her NORMAL personality?"   
"I think it mixed with the psycho one," Dib said casually, "now, are you gonna change her back?"   
"Yes, yes, whatever, DIB, just make her let go of me!"   
"Gaz, come on, we're gonna go visit Zim's lab." Dib told Gaz, who giggled.   
  
  
Zim moved around his lab, presssing buttons and punching keys, muttering about his experiment the whole time. Gaz was in the giant test tube now, she had gone through the personality change, and was pounding on the walls. Dib was sitting pretty far away, watching Zim, and looking at all the alien technology. "You know, Zim, I could become famous for selling you, and your lab to mysterious mysteries."   
"You know Dib, you could become famous if I turned your sister into that Britney Spears thing, also." Zim replied, still working on the technology, "now, if you take one picture, I will sic my robot on you."   
"Where is your robot?" Dib asked.  
"Probably gathering useful information on Earth." Zim replied, "HA! I have changed the circuits, so they change Gaz back, in a matter of minutes!"  
Dib stood up, "good, now do it." "Do not give me orders, earth boy." Zim hissed, pressing the large pink button.   
Dib didn't reply, as he was watching the smoke fill the tube. Zim stood back, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.   
  
Ten Minutes later  
  
"ZIM, LET ME OUT OF HERE NOW! YOU DARE INVOKE THE WRATH OF GAZ!!!!" Gaz yelled, pounding on the tube.   
"Does she have memories of what she was?" Dib asked.   
Zim tapped his chin thoughtfully, "I think she will remember the part when she had her normal personality, but thats all. Now, I'm going to jump onto the ceiling after letting her out, hopefully having her attack you."   
Dib blinked, a little lost. "What?!" But Zim was already pressing the open button, then having his mechanical legs pull him onto the ceiling.  
Dib shuddered as Gaz walked by him, but nothing happened. "I'm going home!" Gaz hissed, and walked towards the elevator. Dib followed, surprised she didn't do anything, "aren't you going to do something to Zim?"   
Gaz didn't answer.   
"NooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" There were several loud bangs, crashes, and thuds, along with Zim's screechings.   
"What was that?" Dib asked.   
"Zim's lab being doomed," was Gaz's simple reply.   
Dib nodded, a smile crossing his face.   
  
THE END 


End file.
